


three forty-five

by sunablinks



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, his ex was a bitch, osamu rights only, pls bubble wrap sunarin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:00:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24206317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunablinks/pseuds/sunablinks
Summary: The clock read 3.45am and Suna was drowning.
Relationships: Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou
Comments: 2
Kudos: 188





	three forty-five

**Author's Note:**

> omg im back with yet another osasuna fic, i wrote this at 3am pls i just had to channel that angst energy into them TT this one's unbeta-ed bc we're dying like warriors! >:(

The clock read 3.45am and Suna was drowning.

Drowning in the silence of his room, yet everything was too loud in his head. Harsh words muddle together, each carrying its own momentum and impact as they collide within the cage of his mind.

Suna sits up and clutches onto the fabric on top of his heart. No matter how much he claws at it, the pain just wouldn't go away. Everything feels constricted, and Suna swears he could feel a pair of hands clasping around his throat.

_Was he dying?_

The buzzing in his head intensifies by the second and his breaths come in short ragged bursts. He struggles against the tangled sheets on his bed when his chest starts burning with need for air, only to get caught up in them and slip to the floor.

The soft thud from his fall gives him a temporary breather, before he falls back down the ravine.

Suna looks up to the open window. A fleeting thought passes, wondering if a bigger fall would snap him out of it all.

The crushing weight of the thought forces a weak whimper out of him and the brown-haired boy blindly reaches for his phone, fingers tapping for a certain contact.

The dialer tone lasts less than five seconds before a soothing voice washes over him like a warm embrace, "Rintarou?"

Suna desperately wants to stay calm but nothing makes it out except for a strangled cry.

"Osamu"

"Hey, it's okay", he hears Osamu's worried voice on the other side, "Baby, it's okay"

_You're just bothering him._

_Look at the mess you are._

_You honestly think they'd stay after all this?_

Osamu picks up on Suna's worsening breathing patterns, "I'm here. I'll always be. I'm not going anywhere"

"They're screaming at me again", he whispers.

"Stay on the line and listen to my voice, okay? Can you breathe with me?"

Suna focuses on the quick shuffling from Osamu's end of the line, barely able to walk through the other's instructions as he hears the faint sound of keys and doors closing shut.

"Breathe in”

He follows, inhaling what felt like a million needles sent stabbing through his lungs. Suna staggers and coughs, "It hurts"

"It's alright. You’re doing great, Rin. Let's try again”

He feels the broken pieces slowly come together, with Osamu gluing each part back with practiced care and gentleness.

As each breath slowly felt like it wasn't going to set his lungs on fire, he notices how wet his face was from his tears, how he trembled from the winter breeze that slipped past the curtains. The red light from his digital clock hits him in the face and guilt spreads through him like wildfire.

_3.52am._

“Samu, I’m so sorry”, he sobs. “I’m sorry”

“Don’t be, none of this is your fault. I’m almost there, alright? Just stay with me”

Suna clings to the phone like his life depended on it, knuckles turning white from the grip. He was too afraid to relax, too scared that he would crumble again.

On days like this, Suna wonders if Osamu would get tired of him. He wonders if the other had ever wanted to ignore his calls. If Osamu thinks he deserved someone who wouldn't easily fall apart at the seams.

Suna knows more than anyone else that Osamu would convince him otherwise. He knows perfectly well because Osamu, _genuine and compassionate Osamu_ , never fails to tell him how much Suna meant to him.

"You are so perfect”, he’d tell him while placing reassuring kisses on his vulnerable skin that sent electric down his spine.

Suna wants to believe him so bad.

He wants to be able to trust the one love in his life that didn’t waltz into his space and crush all that he was but he's kept his heart hidden away for so long, sheltered it from opening up to the dangers of the world.

He forgot what it was like to let someone in. He never came to realise that he had locked everything away along with the words from a past he couldn't make himself recover from.

The memories came crashing like a tidal wave, cold voice cutting through telling him how useless he was, how his efforts meant nothing, how replaceable he had been. He remembers the stinging pain on his cheek, the loud smack resonating in his ears. He remembers rough hands pulling his hair back, eyes burning with disgust as they threw insult after insult his way.

Suna chokes on the lump in his throat, using the remaining energy he has left to push the surfacing memories back to the pit he wanted to avoid for the rest of his life.

He doesn’t know how much time passed, with Osamu on the phone, a steady unwavering presence holding him up from sinking.

He lifts his head up when he no longer feels the wind bite at him. The window was sealed shut and the nude curtains that floated about hooked to the sides by nimble fingers Suna knew too well.

His mouth falls open when he notices white flakes falling gracefully through the early morning air outside. They were the perfect background for the beautiful boy standing in front of him with a soft encouraging smile directed towards him.

Suna reaches out when Osamu crouches in front of his crumpled form and sinks into the warmth that enveloped him when he feels fingers thread between his own, a light tug pulling his body into the heat of the other's arms.

"I'm here"

"You're here", Suna sighs in relief, feeling lightheaded as the weight on his shoulders disappear when Osamu’s scent wafts around him.

Osamu presses a kiss on the crown of his head, his thumb rubbing repeating circles on Suna’s nape as the brown-haired boy settles down in his arms. Osamu’s hold on him never relented, from the moment he held the crying boy to when the latter calms down to soft sniffles. 

“Wanna lie down?”, he pulls away and cups Suna’s face in his hands, wiping away the track of tears from the other’s cheeks.

Suna nods, his movements sluggish and his body protesting over how tired and emotionally spent he was, “Hm”

They get into bed and Osamu instinctively pulls the other close to him. Suna places his hands flat on top of the other’s chest, feeling his heartbeat under his palm. They were just as unwavering as the person himself.

They lay down in silence, this time the comforting sound of Osamu’s breathing grounds Suna.

Suna sleepily snakes his arm around Osamu’s waist, feeling the lack of energy creeping up on him before asking quietly, “Samu, do you get tired of me?”

“Never”, the answer came quick with no room for hesitance.

“I really am sorry”

“You know how I feel about you apologizing for something that piece of shit did to you”

There were rare times when Osamu lets his anger slip. When Suna was involved, Osamu only ever let it happen when he gets reminded of the person who had done nothing but tried to reduce his boyfriend to nothing.

Osamu does his routine of showering Suna with kisses all over his face until the other starts scowling at him. He breaks into a small laugh, “See, that’s an expression I love on you”

“You like to see me mad?”, Suna furrows his eyebrows.

“I like to see you look like you’re going to kick my ass given the chance”, Osamu grins.

Suna hides his face in Osamu’s chest, attempting to hide the smile on his face away from the other but Osamu tilts his head up, stealing a quick glance at Suna’s smile before Suna forces it away. Osamu whines, “Ah ah, I liked that one better too”

“Can’t have you winning all the time”, Suna sticks his tongue out and flips over, relishing in the fact that Osamu was spooning him and content with how feelings other than the pure agony he had felt earlier on were able to sneak through even if it’s little.

They both feel themselves starting to give in to sleep after a while and Suna places a firm kiss on Osamu’s hand, “I love you and thank you”

“I love you more than you know, Rintarou”

**Author's Note:**

> hope u enjoyed reading this and yes, pls yell at me im on twitter :D (@drowzysuna)


End file.
